Emre|Saber|Completed

Name: Emre
Age: 22 in appearance (In actuality, around 4400 years old)
Gender: Male
Alignment: Chaotic Good

Height & Weight: 5'10 (178cm) and 172lb.
Hair & Eye Color: Red eyes and black hair.
Servant Class and Status: Saber (subclass: Lancer and Archer). Feral.

Base of Legend: Ancient Egypt originally. Variants exist in Japan, China, Germany and India.
Origin: Overindulgence. It all started when Emre learned the concept of 'value' from some of the most famed scholars in Egypt. Knowledge, treasures, armies and the thing that people seemed to value the most, their own life along with the lives of their loved ones. It was not something that Emre understood. Once, he came across an old and blind man who lived alone in the middle of nowhere. He never had children and his wife was long dead. Emre questioned him as to why he continued to live despite having no money, no family. He had even lost his sight. The man replied that life was worth living, even if he had nothing. Although this only served to puzzle Emre, he did not forget the way the man spoke that day. The exact words the old man uttered may have long been lost, but the cheerful tone of a man who had nothing remained etched in Emre's mind.

However he learned nothing. A single cup of the finest wine was never enough, it had to be two. He cleaned out both bars and markets. Not even brothels were safe. No matter what it was, as long as it felt good, as long as it had value, Emre wanted more of it. Although it was his thirst for knowledge that eventually led to his demise, other aspects of his overindulging personality made sure that he spent his days isolated from most of his peers.  His uncontrollable lust for women meant that men held him in low esteem. Women who were not swayed by material things also stayed clear of Emre's path. Bars respected his patronage as Emre was willing to pay twice what anyone else was for a good drink, but they were wary of his character. They did not converse with him like they did with other patrons.

"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing!" he always said, and that is still something he maintains, even now. It might also be worth noting that Emre's story later became the basis for the story of the scholar Faust who sold his soul to the demon, Mephistopheles.
Physical Appearance: His long jet black hair swayed in the wind, often tied up and rarely let down. Regardless of whether it was tied into a segmented ponytail or not though, it would reach down to his ankles. His eyes were red, a ruby red was what he described it as, although many claimed that it was a crimson color, stained with foul blood. Even for a young man in Ancient Egyptian times, his attire could be considered strange. Emre wears an Egyptian chunnari around his neck with a small, short sleeved black choli which reveals his midriff under it, his Egyptian leg dress stopping at his ankles. Resting comfortably on his neck was a golden chained necklace with a ruby in the middle. His wrists are also adorned with golden chains, melted down from the solid gold ingots of the Pharaoh's of old.

Emre always walks with a swagger in his step. Always. He rarely ran and almost always walked, preferring to take things at his own pace. Unless he was walking towards somebody, he would tilt his head in every possible direction in an attempt to get a good look at the environment he was currently in. Trees that were a couple of meters away, other people, buildings, he would look at them all, because why not? Perhaps there was a gem around hidden in plain sight? A pretty woman walking arm in arm with another man, maybe or a suspicious looking person who looked like he was too important to simply be loitering. It was not only the visuals that he paid attention to though. The sound of his own footsteps against the cement was like music to his ears, the pitter patter of the rain falling on wooden roofs was also a pleasant sound. They were all world pleasures he believed, they were all experiences that had value.

When he arrived in the current year, he was originally ousted for his revealing dress sense. Unfairly, he believed, as there seemed to be others around that dressed in an even more liberal way than he did. However, it did not matter much. Through stealing, he managed to amass enough money to purchase the most expensive brands available to him. When amongst humans, he wears a brown leather jacket not unlike what cowboys would have worn. Underneath the brown jacket, he wears a long sleeved white shirt. He retains his Egyptian leggings however, as he believes they provide him the most comfort.

He was also never one to slouch. In terms of height, he was nothing extraordinary standing at a modest 178cm (5'10"). Although he would have been fairly impressive in comparison with the Egyptians, Chinese and Japanese he mingled with, he found himself fairly lacking when with Heroic Spirits from places such as Europe. Due to this, he always maintains a perfectly straight posture. When confronted with someone taller than himself, a straight posture indicates that you are not afraid, even if you are looking up at a physically larger enemy. Even in casual conversation, this was important. He does not let up though, even when in the presence of someone with a smaller stature, regardless of their gender. By standing up straight and having people look up at him, he believes that it indicates that he is of a higher standing to them.

Virtues

• Wise - As a man who devoted himself to study, Emre has amassed more wisdom in his few years alive than most people do throughout their whole life. "I know a little bit of a lot of things," would be how he would say it in his own words. The knowledge he has acquired over the years isn't just for showing off though. This leads onto the next trait.
  
• Calm - One could almost say fearless, although that wouldn't be quite true. He isn't a Berserker, after all. However, Emre does manages to retain his composure and a cool head even when confronted with seemingly fatal situations. He has studied the greatest heroes to ever grace the world and is confident that he can get himself out of just about anything.
  
• Appreciative - It is nigh impossible for him to acknowledge the worth of another person. But when he does, he tends to sing that person's praises as though they too, like him, was a gift from the Heavens. However, Emre's acknowledgement is leased, not owned, and rent is due just about every single day. Once Emre recognizes someone as a worthy individual, his standards for them will be much higher. For Emre, failure to live up to his expectations is akin to betrayal and he feels nothing but contempt for those who would betray him.
  
• Cultured - Emre is an incredibly well spoken individual. Although he has never locked lips with the Blarney Stone, he seems to be blessed with the 'gift of the gab' anyway, the innate ability to flatter others with his words.  
  
• Observant -He doesn't get along well with most people but he is, deep down, a people person. He studies them. He takes note of people's body movements, their manner of speech and even their posture. By doing so, he believes that it makes them much easier to read. After all, no matter how hard you are trying to put on a brave face, if you are afraid, then you cannot help but shake.
  Romantic - A romantic at heart, or perhaps an idealist? Emre is attracted to the idea of achieving great feats, going on long adventures and fighting on grand stages. He is also fond of old castles and finely built cathedrals. Although his lust has prevented him from having romantic feelings for other people, he does have a template in his head of what his ideal woman (or man?) would be like and is patiently awaiting the day he can meet that person.
  

Vices:

• Begrudging - His enemies are enemies for life. This is the case 9 in 10 times. This trait would not be so bad if it was difficult to get on Emre's bad side but unfortunately, even looking at him wrong or speaking to him in an improper manner is enough to tick him off. Although he may not let his rage show in his facial expressions, you can be sure that he is mad and won't forgive the wrongdoing for a long, long time.
  
• Selfish - At his core, Emre is a selfish person. This is primarily due to his overindulgence. He is under the impression that the world and all of the knowledge and treasure within it are fair game. Unlike some other people, he does not claim that it all belongs to him but rather that, it is all there for the taking.
  
• Forceful - This is one that Emre himself is likely to deny, but he is actually incredibly overbearing and imposing. He likes it when people do the things he want to and although he can take a good guess at what someone is likely to do, there are always those unpredictable people that don't seem to be tied down by logic. He is also fairly suggestive and will try and use mind games in order to manipulate someone into the course of action that will benefit him the most.
  
• Arrogant - "One in a million? How insolent, beings like me appear once every couple of centuries!" is one of Emre's favorite quotes. This is because he enjoys singing his praises almost as much as he enjoys singing the praises of others. Although he does acknowledge the fact that people who deserve to stand on the same level as him exist, he believes that anyone else should simply die and serve as nutrients to the Earth's soil.
  
• Apathetic - He cares little about anyone or anything that does not pique his interest. This causes him to often look down on people and not take them very seriously when they try to confront him. His pride and arrogance prevents him from simply killing people himself as he thinks that death by his hand is a high honor. However, this apathy for others has often led him to be prone to surprise attacks and he has lost fights in the past because he was unwilling to take an opponent seriously.
  
• Argumentative - Always the devil's advocate, Emre loves to argue. The thing he dislikes most is "know it alls", possibly because they remind him too much of himself. He has often argued in favor of causes that he didn't even believe in simply because he couldn't stand the other person being right. However, at the same time, he is not one to spout excuses if he does lose an argument.
  

Wish Desired: What is the Holy Grail? Some would say a magical wish granting device that shouldn't even exist while others would say that the Holy Grail is something akin to an omnipotent deity. For Emre, the Holy Grail is merely another treasure with value. After all, how could it not be valuable when so many people are after it? As a result, Emre also lusts after it, not because he has any wish he wants granted as he had already fulflled his desire in life, but simply because he wants the Grail for the sake of it. You could even say that chasing for the Grail is, in itself, his wish.


Noble Phantasms:

Amethyst Cardinal - A ring that was given to Emre in his youth and one of his most prized possessions. The ring itself has a fairly basic silver frame (not as dazzling or valuable as gold, Emre would note, although sentimentally speaking, he would not have it any other way) with an emerald cut amethyst core. Emre prefers to wear the ring on the finger between his middle finger and small finger otherwise known as the 'marriage finger'. He often sarcastically claims that it is his engagement ring or jokes about how he will have to start wearing the ring on another finger once he finds a bride.

The ring allows him to materialize weapons such as swords or lances (thereby making him suitable for the Lancer class). The weapons he creates are generally copies of the Notable Phantasms of other Heroic Spirits. For example, a sword that Emre materializes may be based off the Sword of Promised Victory, Excalibur although their shape would be the only thing they would have in common. The weapons are generally of average quality and do not have the durability associated with the Noble Phantasms of other Spirits in the Saber class. Emre does, however, have the advantage of being able to wield two swords at the same time and can materialize more swords after that.

Although it is possible in theory to materialize a horse drawn carriage (which could possibly make Emre a candidate for the Rider class), he has never attempted it. This is due to the fact that he believes the horse (a living thing) could begin to take it's own independent action and may betray him. His other fear is that the horse may simply stay inanimate and that would be incredibly embarrassing for him. Weapons (or anything else for that matter) that Emre materializes are also black in color, giving off the impression that the sword or lance is radiating a dark and shadowy aura.

The Sword that Cleansed the World, Asi - A legendary sword briefly mentioned in the epic, Mahabharata. As the strength of the sword was not explored in detail in the epic, not many people know of it's prowess although Emre claims that the sword is one of a kind and nigh indestructible. It is the most powerful weapon in Emre's arsenal although it is fairly difficult to utilize. In order to use Asi, Emre must use Amethyst Cardinal. The emerald cut amethyst in the ring's core will begin to glow a deep shade of purple before Asi is summoned to Emre's side. While Asi is summoned, the amethyst in the ring will go completely dark, signalling that Emre can no longer use it's abilities to materialize other swords.

In other words, he cannot use Asi and the Amethyst Cardinal at the same time thereby reducing Emre's potential fighting power. According to the story, the God Brahma created the sword through blood sacrifice. During the sacrificing process however, a terrible creature sprang up, tall and slim with teeth as sharp as the edge of the most blood thirsty swords. It was a lotus blue in color and it's appearance caused the Earth to quake, the oceans to tremble, the winds to howl violently and meteors to blaze through the skies. After all was said and done, Brahma proclaimed that the terrible creature was none other than Asi, a being that will destroy all enemies of God. As these words were said, Asi assumed the form of a gleaming aeon sword with a sharp edge.

Emre acquired the sword on his travels and has kept Asi with him since. Although he is skeptical about the story and the fact that Asi could be considered "alive", he does acknowledge that it seems as though Asi gets "lonely" when she is not used often enough. Strangely enough, perhaps out of habit or the fact that he subconsciously views Asi as a living being worthy to be called a friend or partner, Emre often refers to his sword as a 'she'. When confronted about this he sarcastically snaps back, stating that great captains refer to their ships as female along with the midnight riders of the current century who claim that their automobiles are 'hot rides'.

Asi is roughly 90cm long and 10cm wide and emits a light blue glow. The effectiveness of Asi completely depends on how much mana Emre is willing to expend. For example, Asi can condense Emre's own mana before releasing it from the tip of the blade. The 'blast of mana' will take the form of a crescent as it is hurled towards the target and at full power, is capable of slicing clean through a human being. This can come in handy in various ways. For example, Emre can place the tip of his blade on a lock and destroy it using the mana that Asi absorbs. Another ability of Asi is the spherical dome. In order to activate spherical dome, Emre must throw the blade up into the air. The blade will then stall 50 feet up in the air. Asi will then begin to glow a bright white before enclosing both Emre and his target(s) in a massive dome. While the dome is in activation, Emre is unable to use Asi.



The History:

Chapter I - The First King
Emre was born to an old spinster who's best days had already long past her by. In her youth, perhaps she was a startling beauty capable of tempting men and having them hang on her every word. Perhaps. His father, on the other hand, was more of an enigma. His mother claimed to not have been with a man for over a decade before his birth and as a result, it was completely unprecedented for Emre to have been born. Although the possibility that she was merely lying or too ashamed to admit her infidelity did cross his mind. As Emre grew older, however, he began to consider the fact that his father may not have been a worldly being. After all, if the Pharaoh could claim to be a descendant of God then could Emre not do the same? After all, it was impossible for only humans to practice things such as adultery and promiscuity. Emre was around the age of 8 when he began to consider himself as a being akin to the Pharaoh. With his thirst for knowledge, Emre quickly managed to establish himself as a potential scholar and was given permission to learn under some of the greatest minds that lived in Egypt at the time.

But he could not get the new and young Pharaoh out of his mind. He was a stunted boy, Emre thought. He never walked, he was always carried by servants no matter where he went. It wasn't because he considered himself to be above walking on the same ground as commoners, Emre had begun to realize, it was simply because he was too frail and sickly to do so. There was no chance that he could be the son of Ra. It was around this time that Emre began to harbor ambitions of becoming Pharaoh himself, although theoretically it was only possible through uprising. During Emre's younger years, a practice known as alchemy was rapidly gaining momentum. It was a field of study that greatly intrigued Emre and his fellow scholars, and the sickly Pharaoh as well, it would seem although the things they wanted differed. The Pharaoh, who Emre had lost all faith in, was clearly a dying man. The thing that he sought from alchemy was none other than immortality and any scholar or alchemist who would be able to grant him that immortality would become rich beyond their wildest dreams.

Emre had no such interest.

The thing that appealed to him was not immortality. Emre believed that to be immortal was the same as being dead and as a result, did not seek for it. The thing that intrigued him the most was the concept of artificial humans, comparable to that of the Golem from Jewish folklore. Later on, in the sixteenth century, it would become known as the search for the first homunculus. Emre thought that if he could create his own army of artificial beings, he would be able to take the title of Pharaoh for himself. There was very little progress in Egypt though when it came to alchemy. Emre soon found himself more knowledgeable than his own teachers. This caused him to decide to travel East. He had heard of scholars that lived in the East, and although they wrote and spoke in a completely different tongue, Emre was confident that he could adapt. Stealing away in the dead of night, he began his journey towards the land that would later be known as China. Before he left, he promised that he would one day return to Egypt with an army exceeding the millions at his heels, and although he would never again set foot on his homeland, it was this desire to be King that he would later lead to his demise.

He was 22 when he died in China. He was 13 when he left Egypt.

Chapter II - The Eden in the East
Although his destination was the world's capital of alchemy at the time, China, there were several other places he would need to stop by first. He ventured through lands that would later become known as Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Kashimir and Nepal before arriving in India. Although he had already created a name for himself as a overindulgent traveling scholar, it was while in India that his legend  began to take it's form. He was walking along the market one day when he met an old peddler trying to sell his goods for money. Emre had no interest in the fabrics and spices that the peddler was selling but was enchanted by a ring that the merchant wore on his finger. Captivated by it's beauty, he insisted on purchasing it although the peddler claimed it was too valuable to set a put a price on. This only made Emre want it more.

Emre, who would have been around 16 at the time, returned to the market day after day in an attempt to convince the peddler to sell it. Impressed by the teenager's persistence but still unwilling to sell, he decided to inform Emre about an even more precious gem that was hidden in a cave just outside the village. Doubtful, Emre questioned the peddler as to why he did not take it for himself. The peddler replied by saying that the cave this gem was hidden in was hazardous and there would be several physical trials that he would need to pass if he wanted to obtain it. Intrigued, Emre set off for the cave. After passing the trials that included swimming through a murky lake supposedly inhabited with monsters and walking over a creaky bridge where one bad move would have caused you to drop to the chasm below, Emre found himself merely a few meters away from the ring. He immediately sensed that something was wrong. Bones laid littered all around him, the bones of animals and humans mingled together, their flesh had been stripped clean away. Before he could even consider going back, a monstrous roar was let out and in front of him, a hideous creature emerged. Its left foot was clubbed, it's teeth were sharp and it was fairly rotund from all of the adventurer's it had consumed.

Knowing that fighting was his only option, Emre began to look around for anything that could have been a makeshift weapon. From the corner of his eye, he could spot a gleaming light. Attached to the bony hand of a fallen soldier was a sword. Emre was not sure how long this sword had been here but it must have been a considerable amount of time as the hand that held it had completely decomposed. The hilt of the sword was a scarlet color, the blade gleamed blue and the tip had not been dulled by time. Emre made his way to the sword. The hilt felt warm in his hand and he was confident that he would be able to take down the monster. Unable to keep up with Emre's more refined style of swordplay partially due to his clubbed foot and mostly due to his inability to process complex thought, the monster was eventually slain. Satisfied with his efforts, Emre decided to keep the sword and take the precious gem, an amethyst. He also decide to chop off the monster's head, believing that it could possibly fetch him a price at the market. He then returned to the peddler presenting him with his three treasures.

The peddler, who turned out to be an alchemist also, informed Emre about the dark secret behind the amethyst gem. Apparently, the peddler who introduced himself as Leviathan originally lived in the West and had come to the East for the same reason as Emre - to study alchemy. He had joined a guild and this particular amethyst gem was the guild's effort to create a philosopher's stone. The stone was a failure but despite that, it still contained powerful properties. The members of the alchemist guild fought over who should keep the amethyst and Leviathan, fearing that the gem could fall into the wrong hands decided to dispose of it himself. He had heard rumors of a monster guarding the cave outside the village and decided that it was the best place to hide the stone. Enraged, the other alchemists had ousted Leviathan from their guild and went to search for the stone themselves. They never returned and Leviathan had been peddling ever since. Curious about the power of the amethyst, Emre decided to christen it with the name "Amethyst Cardinal", and he also demanded that Leviathan mold the gem into a ring, just so that it would be easier to hold onto. The peddler agreed.

Impressed by Leviathan's knowledge, Emre returned the next day and inquired as to the origin of the sword he had found. Leviathan told him that the sword was likely Asi, a sword created by the Hindu God Brahma. He then told Emre the story of Asi's creation. Satisfied that such a powerful sword had come into his possession, Emre decided to brandish himself as a slayer of beasts and began to parade the decapitated head of the monster around the market, declaring himself to be a hero. The common people celebrated him as a heroic man who not only slayed the beast but was also the current wielder of Asi, a legendary sword. Using his newly acquired Amethyst Cardinal, Emre was also able to accomplish feats generally associated with mages. Several warlords heard of Emre and his antics and decided to confront him. Although Emre was able to slice down the first few scouts that the warlords sent after him, it soon became clear that they were serious in their intention to get rid of him. Knowing that he couldn't defeat the armies of some of the most powerful warlords in India, he decided to sneak onto the cart of a traveling show group. Before he left, he gave the head of the monster to Leviathan, citing it as a gift for all he had done for him. He also told him that whenever someone would ask about the fallen beast's head, Leviathan would name the monster's slayer as Emre the Hero, a man both gallant and wise.

Chapter III - Home
It took him 4 years before he found himself on China's borders, an empire that had already established itself as one of the strongest in the East. It is also worth noting that it was in India where Emre came into contact with Asi for the first time. Although his black hair and skin tone allowed him to blend in with the common people, his red eyes caused some to treat him warily. However, it was these very features that caused a local lord to take an interest in him. Emre was educated along with the lord's very own sons and was treated honorably throughout his time in the lord's home. Although the idea of staying there permanently was considered, Emre did not forget his promise to return to Egypt with an army. He began to study alchemy privately under the nose of his teachers and lord.

When he was 20, he became a soldier. As a soldier, he became well known as a man who preferred reading to fighting but at the same time, was almost unmatched when he held his beloved Asi in his hands in the art of swordplay. His Amethyst Cardinal also made him somewhat of an enigma. Both his enemies and allies treated him warily. He believed that perhaps, the Mongolians who were giving the Chinese so much trouble could have knowledge that he was still ignorant about. It soon became clear to Emre, however, that the Mongols were far more nomadic than he originally thought. They did not write down their teachings but rather exchanged ideas through word of mouth. Emre thought it was primitive and did not inquire any further. He resigned from the army and returned to his lord's home where he continued to study. Unfortunately, the lord got suspicious and Emre had gotten complacent, leaving a scroll he had stolen from the lord's private chambers lying around. Infuriated by this theft, the lord decided to kill Emre. After being warned by one of the chambermaids, Emre escaped. He began living with a fellow alchemist only known as Mephisto, who sought immortality. The two of them agreed to help each other fulfill their heart's desire.

One day, Mephisto called Emre to his study. He claimed that he had just made a significant breakthrough that could perhaps bring an immortal army to life, something that would fulfill Emres ambition of having an army and end Mephisto's search for immortality. Eager, Emre asked Mephisto to reveal all, but Mephisto simply claimed that immortality and artificial life were things that were simply too unnatural to exist. He cited them as the temptation of demons. As he was about to burn his findings, Emre attacked him from behind, and began to strangle his old friend, unwilling to allow his homunculus army be taken from him. Mephisto, a strong man in his own right managed to overpower Emre and the two of them engaged in a fist fight with Mephisto berating Emre for his greed. Realizing that he was going to lose, Emre brandished Asi, using his blade to pierce Mephisto's abdomen. As Mephisto lay dying, Emre grabbed Mephisto's journal and began to read the contents. His lustful smile soon faded, becoming a meek grimace. He threw the journal to the ground.

"What... what is this?! I wanted the secret to artificial life... and you would have me create a monstrosity?" was all Emre could say.

"This is what you sought after, friend. A life not conceived by a man and a woman could be nothing more than a monstrosity," were Mephisto's final words.

"Then.. what does that make me?"

Chapter IV - Alone
He had finally done it. Both the secret to biological immortality and artificial life were in his hands. Yet he was sad. Not unsatisfied but merely melancholic, partially because of the death of his best friend. When he played out his uprising scenario in the confines of his own mind, he knew that blood would be spilled. The blood of rebels, the blood of warriors, that was something he accepted, yet he never considered the possibility that the blood of innocents could taint the battlefield. He cursed his own luck as he picked up Mephisto's journal. Certainly, it seemed like the formulas that Mephisto had uncovered could lead to eternal life but the cost was great.

If it cost the lives of innocent children, women and men to sustain my own life, then it is not something I will partake of, Emre had said, albeit hypocritically. He was a former soldier, after all. The lives of others. That was the price of immortality. The lives of others. That was the secret to artificial life. At the end of the day, alchemy was nothing more than the changing of properties. If we could change the properties of thing A to the properties of thing B, would thing A not become thing B? That was the principle that alchemy based itself on. Life. Endless life. It was only obvious that in order to sustain one's own life, other lives must be sacrificed.

He stepped over to his dead friend's body and any will he had left to live suddenly left him. He crouched down and closed Mephisto's eyes manually. Dying with your eyes open meant that you had regrets, after all. Emre scanned his dead friend's body, taking notice of a ring that he wore on his middle finger. Dread filled his being as he lifted up Mephisto's hand. Could it be? If Mephisto had truly attempted to create a catalyst for artificial life, then not even the most merciful of Gods and mothers could forgive him. Even Emre felt nothing but disdain for the man he had killed. Not thinking, Emre removed the amethyst cored ring from Mephisto's slim fingers and slid it into his own. He clutched Mephisto's limp hand with his own trembling ones.

"You've sold your soul for creating this, friend. But worry not, I will see you in the deepest pits of Hell. For I will take on your sins and sell my soul also,"

With this, he gave Mephisto's one last scan. His mouth was curled into what could only be called a grin. Unnatural as Mephisto rarely ever smiled. Emre wondered if his old friend was grinning now, even though he had lost his humanity. Gently placing Mephisto's right hand down onto the ground, Emre stood up and grabbed the journal. Using the candle on the study's table, Emre lit the forbidden journal on fire before chucking it onto the floor. The wooden floorboards began to catch fire and soon enough, so would the rest of the house. The temperature in the study began to soar up and Emre was beginning to sweat. He wondered if the flames of hell would be hotter than the flames that were about to engulf his home and body. Unafraid, Emre walked over to Mephisto's chair and sat, a makeshift throne for a foolish King and waited for the flames to liberate him.

Chapter V - Blessed Sinner
Emre found himself in a strange place. A pitch black place where he had no physical form. He could not see himself, but he could hear his thoughts... or was he speaking out loud? He could not tell. He had no mouth to speak, so he simply assumed that he was thinking. Suddenly, a high pitched and raspy voice began to call out to him.

"Oh, great and noble King! How I implore thee! What brings you here?" the voice boomed. His words were sweet yet Emre sensed that the sweetness was just there to mask the bitterness and sarcasm.

"Silence, fool! Where is my form? How can you invade my thoughts?" Emre had growled back yet the voice only laughed in reply.

"Such anger, although it is expected from a man who has damned his own soul. I come to offer you respite. A chance to redeem yourself," he replied, completely ignoring Emre's questions. This time, there was no hint of sarcasm or bitterness in his voice. He was merely telling it like it is. This caused Emre to chuckle.

"Redemption? There is no redemption for this sin, I'm afraid. Now be gone and leave me be with my thoughts. This is surely Hell, and I would not spend my eternity with an unworthy sinner," he declared, suddenly full of confidence, shooing the voice away.

"You, who lived a life of indulgence. I would reckon you would prefer to overindulge in paradise than in damnation? I could bring you to paradise, well, to a world much more interesting than this. There will be lands for you to conquer and treasures for you to obtain. And there, you would have your form," the voice enticed, the eagerness in the way it spoke had increased, although Emre still couldn't tell whether it was a male or a female. Did people retain their gender in Hades?

"What kind of deity are you, to offer paradise to a sinner like me?" Emre inquired, suddenly interested in this voice inside his head. He could easily be insane, but at the very least, he decided that he should hear what the voice had to say.

"A merciful one," it whispered back.

Emre roared in laughter. "Is that so? I will retract my fool comment from before, and thank you for your information. So, a world outside of this exists? If that is the case, then I will go there by myself! I do not need help from any Gods," he responded.

"That could take you an eternity. You do not even know where to start," the voice murmured. Emre could sense doubt in the still voice. If (s)he was smirking before, then (s)he was certainly frowning now.

"Irrelevant. Did you not say it yourself? I am the great and noble King! A King without a Kingdom, no less! I will tear down this shoddy abyss and build a city behind it! It can be the capital of my new founded Empire!" Emre shouted as loud as he could. The voice did not reply. Declaring himself the winner of that particular argument, he began to think. Before he could come to any reasonable conclusion though, he began to feel a pain in his arms.

His arms.

He had arms! Suddenly, there was pain in his legs. He had legs! His head began to throb uncontrollably. He was beginning to take form again. Although the pain was greater than anything he had ever felt before, he was also incredibly happy. The world that the voice spoke of, the endless lands for him to conquer, the valuable treasures for him to obtain, the luxury that was awaiting him. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain, and when he opened them again, he knew that he would be in his own, unconventional paradise.

Roleplay Sample wrote:"Can you believe it? I've been made into a stock character...." he murmured to nobody in particular. How could he be talking to anyone, when he was, for all intent and purposes, alone? He turned the page of the book and began to read with purpose. The book was old, Emre knew, he could tell from it's appearance. The pages had grown a dim yellow from not having seen sunlight in decades and it had been adorned with dust when Emre had picked it up. Even so, the book was younger than him although you wouldn't be able to tell just from shallowly looking at them and comparing.

Emre looked like a young man and thought like an old man. In his heart though, he still considered himself to be a young man, just wiser than his peers. He sighed as he finished reading the page he was on. It was a handwritten 15th century piece by a German author that actually predated the printing press by a couple of months. Funnily enough, after the printing press became popular, this book was printed out several times over. In other words, the handwritten copy that Emre held in his hands right now was quite rare. "A valuable treasure!" he suddenly declared as he slid it into his jacket. His attire was completely different than usual, he had to buy clothes that would allow him to fit in, after all.

"Shh," the librarian scolded. She was partially deaf as well, which meant that Emre was a lot louder than he initially thought he was. It didn't really matter if she heard him though as long as she couldn't see him pocket the book. He had heard that she was partially blind as well as deaf which was the reason why he liked to frequent this library the most. It was fairly old and contained an abundance of really old and priceless books. Emre could steal them as he wished. People rarely came here as well. It seemed like people in the 21st century disliked learning or at the very least, they did not seem to enjoy it. A shame, Emre thought, but as long as he could enjoy his pastime in peace, he didn't really care. He began to make his escape, but because he was not looking at where he was going, he ended up bumping into someone else.

"Yo, dude, you alright?" the person he had bumped into said, as he stood up. He offered his hand to Emre, but the latter simply brushed it away and stood up by himself. Emre eyeballed the person he had just run into. Greasy hair, slightly taller than he was with red hair. "Such insolence," Emre spat as he walked away. He almost wanted to take out Asi so he could slit the man's throat but he decided against it. He was only a human after all, and in a way, it was kind of Emre's fault for not looking at where he was going. Before Emre could leave the library however, there was a light touch on his back.

"Hey dude, you..." the red haired man murmured. Enraged at being touched by a commoner, Emre used his right fist and uppercut the man. The greasy haired man fell to the ground in a heap and began to crawl away. Emre sighed, somewhat regretful at having lost his temper. "It's this era," he cursed. "I can't stand it. Humans have increased in number yet they are as useless as ever," Emre said as he left the library, leaving the greasy haired redhead alone with his thoughts. Emre was not much of a physical fighter so the punch definitely wouldn't kill him. A couple of minutes after Emre had left the premises, the greasy haired man began to get up.

"Damn, dude, was just gonna ask him if he wanted a drag," he gasped softly, before falling back down onto the ground again.

Bump. FC is Judar from Magi, just in case.

Hello, I am Oningyo, and I am one of the moderators here on FE. I’ll be helping you clean up your app to get it ready for a final score.

To start with, the name isn’t very consistent with your supposed legend base. If Emre is originally from Egypt, the name Ashcroft is too english for him. Emre could be an egyptian name, but not Ashcroft. You don’t have to change that, but I thought I’d remind you.

Now, for your origin, the (lolthethirstisreal) within it will have to be removed. It adds nothing to the app, and only gets in the way.

now, for physical appearance, something you could add here is what Emre wears in the current day when he’s trying to pass as a human. I’m also curious why an egyptian hero is wearing indian clothing, but I suspect this will be explained in your history.

In wish desired, if you could remove the parenthesis here too? If the information is relevant, try to work it into the rest of the app, rather than sectioning it off.

In power within, the magic and element sections should be deleted.

Moving on to your noble phantasms. The first one seems a little unoriginal to be honest. It’s basically Emiya’s power, just through the medium of the ring. Your second weapon, Asi, cannot remain as it is. You will need to be more specific about what the blade is and what it can do. And once again, please remove the parenthesis and just try to work the information within them into the rest of your app.

Now, your history. The first, and arguably biggest flaw here is with Emre declaring that he is on the same level of existence as the pharaoh. You have to remember, the pharaoh is a religious figure as much as a political one. Declaring you’re equal to him when you’re only eight is like saying you’re just as holy as the pope while standing in the middle of the vatican. At best, no one will take you seriously. At worst, you will be punished, not rewarded with learning from the greatest minds int he country. Especially when there is next to nothing that can substantiate that sort of claim from a young child.

I will stop there, as I suspect being just granted scholarly ability by virtue of declaring yourself half god is a driving force for the rest of your app, and I will allow you to make any needed changes to reflect this before reviewing the rest.

Please post and bump the thread after you’ve made these edits.

I'll have to apologize for my own inability to convey my message. Proclaim was the wrong word to use. I changed that. It was more like seeing the president slip up on television and thinking in your mind "I could do a better job than him," rather than going around declaring that you should be president. The name has also been changed to something more fitting. His garb has been changed to something more Egyptian and I added what he would wear when among normal humans.

Bump.

Hmm, might be better to just go with only one name. Not everyone has two. I actually can’t think of any egyptians that have a last name. At least not in ancient times.

Moving further down in your history than before, you mention he came in contact with as for the first time in india, but you fail to mention just how it was Emre got the blade. Noble phantasms are supposed to be objects integrated with your character’s legend. Here Emre is, only two years from death according to your proclamation in the first chapter, and he’s only used the blade once. And I can’t find any mention of the ring that he supposedly uses.

Once you fix up these things, I can move you along to the final grading.

Expanded on how he got his sword and ring and dropped his surname.

Bump.

Edit:
Ignore the previous message if you already read it. I will give you your final score sometime tomorrow.

Creativity ~ 200 / 300

I like the app as a whole. While the noble phantasms could have been more unique, here is nothing else that I would call cliche or copied in the app.

Introduction & Physical Description ~ 300 / 400

God job here. You paint a good picture of just who he is, or rather who he appears to be.

Mentality ~ 200 / 400

The personality is put together well enough. It’s clear you put more effort into this than just looking for a list of positive and negative traits to rattle off for us.

Power ~ 200 / 300

Your power is workable, and well detailed, it just doesn’t feel wholly original, sorry. The ring feels like Emiya’s power without the reality marble, and the sword’s ability seems like Excalibur, just with the ability to vary the power of the blasts.

History & Rp Sample ~ 300 / 600

I like how much description you added for how he obtained his treasures. Though I would have liked more events like the slaying of the monster to get the ring, and a little more detail on how he became a legend. As it stands, you have one memorable thing from his history, but that is all at the moment.

Approved for 1200